


A Grand Entrance

by MissBarbieAnne



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Hospital, Pregnancy, Whump, blood mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 10:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17547635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissBarbieAnne/pseuds/MissBarbieAnne
Summary: What should be the happiest day of their lives turns into something much worse.





	1. Chapter 1

**Loghan's POV**

It was the middle of the night, but sleep was eluding me. Every position I tried was uncomfortable, and I found myself moving from side to side every few minutes. Benson was sleeping next to me, and I knew he had to wake up early and I hoped I was not disturbing him.

I let out a sigh, finally admitting defeat and sitting up on the side of the bed. The clock on the nightstand read 3:04AM, meaning Benson would be up in a couple hours. I should let him sleep. I slowly pushed myself up, my large belly jutting out in front of me. Being 8 months pregnant was definitely not helping me rest, and the aches plaguing my back were becoming increasingly distracting. They radiated up my middle back, waking me up every time I was about to doze off. I attributed them to the pregnancy and waddled my way into the living room to try and pass out on the couch.

Pulling the blanket up, I pressed against the pillows and closed by eyes, only to open them again as the baby began to kick and push against my stomach. At this point, I could see my belly move with each kick, and I watched the blanket move as it rolled around inside my womb. It was crazy to think in just four short weeks we would know if “it” was a boy or a girl. Benson was adamant that we were having a girl, but me? I had a feeling he was wrong. Something kept telling me the little one was a boy, but only time would tell.

Eventually, the kicking stopped and I began to fall asleep. It was a light doze, constantly teetering on the brink of asleep and awake. I knew I needed to sleep; everything kept telling me to rest now before the baby came. But it was becoming increasingly difficult, between having to pee every five minutes to having my insides kicked around, and now the backaches. I had just about given up on feeling fully rested, and ready to accept the fact I would feel like a zombie for the next five years.

Somewhere in the early hours of the morning, I had managed to fall asleep and when I woke up, light was shining in through the windows and illuminating the room. I blinked the sleep from my eyes, sitting up and stretching before swinging my legs over the side of the couch. Everything ached from sleeping on the uncomfortable surface, but my back did not start to hurt until I stood up. When I did, the pain took my breath away and I doubled over, holding onto the couch for support.

For a minute, I thought I was having contractions, but the pain was nothing like they had explained in the books or in the classes Benson had taken with me. It faded away, but never quite disappeared altogether, and that was worrying me.

I tried to push it to the back of my mind, making my way into the kitchen to find something to eat. It was already after nine, and Benson would be home at three, which left me with a few hours to hang around by myself until then. Lately, when he was not home, I just lounged around and ate and watched Netflix, taking videos of the baby moving around for Benson to watch later.

Today was different. Something just did not feel right, and as much as I tried to forget about it, the feeling would not go away. I could not bring myself to eat the toast I made, and I could not focus on the TV. My mind kept wandering to the ache in my back, and even though I could still feel the kicking, I could not stop thinking that something was horribly wrong.

I was about to call Benson when it happened. The unbearable, horrifying pain. I had stood up to use the bathroom when it hit all at once, a hundred times worse than it had been that morning. I could not hold back the scream as razor blades shot up my back and stomach. It was excruciating and tears had started to flow before I even realized it. It did not subside, it just kept coming in waves, making it nearly impossible to breathe.

Something wet was flowing down my legs, and I thought that maybe my water had broken. Maybe these really were contractions, and the baby was coming early. I looked down, and all the color drained from my face. I had to close my eyes and lower myself back down onto the couch, trying to take deep breathes but failing as the pain took over every sense in my body.

There was blood. Blood everywhere. It was running down my legs and had already pooling by my feet. It was soaking into the couch as I sat there, but all my energy had drained away. This could not be happening. I was too far along. These kind of thing did not happen.

My hands shook as I grabbed my phone off the coffee table, trying to call Benson. My fingers were trembling and it took a few times to enter my passcode correctly. He did not answer at first, which was expected since he was working. I called him again. And again. By the fourth call, he answered.

“Loghan, what’s wrong?” He sounded breathless, like he had run to answer the call.                     

“Benson…” My voice shook and I covered my mouth as I sobbed.

“Babe, what’s wrong? What happened?” Benson’s voice was tight, and I could imgine him white-knuckling the phone now.

“There’s blood. Benson, there’s so much blood…” My words were cut off by a scream as the pain erupted through my abdomen and back, and I nearly dropped the phone.

“I’m on my way,” he said before hanging up.

 

Benson must have driven 60mph, because he was at the door in less than ten minutes. But to me, it felt like an eternity. My pants were soaked with blood… I did not even realize there could be so much blood. The pain was making my vision fade in and out, spots dancing in front of my eyes. I would not have noticed Benson was there if I had not heard him slam the door.

He was kneeling in front of me and I choked on a sob.

“I don’t know what’s happening,” I cried, gasping and holding my belly as I was stabbed repeatedly by an imaginary knife. I gritted my teeth, wrapping my arms around Benson’s neck.

His eyes were wide as he took in the scene around me. The couch cushion was stained red, and a large puddle of blood had collected on the hardwood floor. His hands shook as he pressed them against my back, pulling me against him.

“We need to go to the ER,” His voice was unsteady. “We need to go _now_.”

I nodded weakly and he picked me up, not even caring that his hand was pressed against my blood-soaked pants, or that I was screaming in his ear when the pain became too much to handle. I gripped his shirt tightly, just trying to focus on the fact that the baby was still moving inside me. But it was moving slower, weaker… and I cried out.

“I don’t want to lose it!” I screamed, burying my head into Benson’s neck.

Benson tightened his grip on me, but didn’t say anything.

_Please,_ I begged. _Please don’t let him die. Please, please, please. Take me instead._

           


	2. Chapter 2

**Benson’s POV**  

Everything was numb. It felt like time was moving in slow motion.

I knew what was happening. I was in medical school; I knew the term.

Shock.

I was in shock and still trying to process what had happened.

Everything had moved so fast from the moment I had brought her in.

Loghan had been screaming, holding her belly that held our baby inside. There was so much blood… it flowed down her legs and covered my hands as I drove as fast as I could to the hospital.

I should have called an ambulance. I know I should have, because I could not seem to get her here fast enough.

They took her back immediately, hooking up the monitors on her belly and trying to pick up our baby’s heartbeat. It seemed like forever before they finally found it.

154 beats a minute. Strong. Normal.

I let out a sigh of relief.

But Loghan was still screaming, the blood still flowing and the ultrasound confirmed my worst fear.

Her placenta had torn away from the inside of her womb. Every second that passed, our baby was losing the oxygen and nutrients it needed to survive. And Loghan was losing blood, and fast.

Before I could process what was going on, procedures and medical terms was being quickly explained. She needed an emergency C-section to get the baby out to give it the best chance of survival, and they needed to stop the hemorrhaging and get her blood pressure under control.

I barely processed anything, feeling like my brain had been turned off, when her monitor started beeping. The nurses ran to her side, but I saw what the problem was immediately.

Her blood pressure was rapidly dropping.

She went slack against the bed, her eyes closing as the numbers continued to fall. They placed an oxygen mask over her face, shaking her to try to get her to respond, but nothing.

Next, the baby’s monitor started to beep. The heart rate was going down.

148… 135… 122…

Another nurse pulled me from the room as the other two unhooked her bed and rushed her into the OR.

 

That had been an hour ago.

I had observed a C-section before. I knew how long they took, and this was taking far too long. I knew something was wrong.

I gripped the cup of coffee in my hand tightly; it was the only thing keeping me grounded.

The tears were flowing freely, but I did not even attempt to wipe them away anymore. They made my skin feel sticky as they dripped off my chin and into the warm liquid inside the cup. It didn’t matter; I couldn’t drink it anyway. I felt like I was going to puke.

A sob escaped my lips and I covered my mouth with my hand, feeling my shoulders shake as I did my best to keep it together.

This could not be happening. I could not lose everything today.

She was due in just four weeks. We were supposed to be in a Suite in Labor and Delivery, me holding her hand through the contractions, giving her words of encouragement when she told me she couldn’t do it anymore. I had rehearsed this day over and over in my head. I had been planning for this ever since we had found out she was pregnant.

I never thought that this would be how our baby was brought into the world.

My stomach rolled and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get the image of blood out of my mind. It was engrained there, the way it had flowed down her legs and soaked the ground. There had been so much… I had not even known if the baby was still alive. When I heard the heartbeat in the hospital room, I had been so relieved.

But now? I didn’t even know if I would have a baby to take home. Hell, I did not know if I would even have Loghan to take home.

I sobbed again, holding my head in my hand and trying to draw air into my lungs.

I could not lose her. I cannot lose her. Please don’t take her from me.

How could I have not known something was wrong? Dammit, if I had just stayed home. If I had not gone to work, if I had been home with her…

This still would have happened. I knew how Placenta Abruptio works. I knew it could occur with little to no warning signs. But still. I could not help thinking that I could have prevented this.

I could have saved her. I should have saved her. I promised her I would protect her and take care of her and God dammit I am such a fucking fool.

My chest ached and I wanted to scream, but I was sitting in the middle of a deserted waiting room and I did not want to be committed. Instead, I chewed the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood. I tried not to think about the worst case scenario, but it still kept playing over and over in my head.

I would drive home alone, an empty car seat in the backseat. I would walk into the apartment and see the empty bassinet against the wall. The clothes that would never be worn. The diapers that would have to be donated, the toys that would never be played with. I would walk into my room, and lay down on the bed, but I would never feel her crawl up next to me again, never feel her hands run through my hair, never hear her gasp as I kiss her neck, never feel her lips as they press against mine, never hear her laugh or see her smile or wipe away her tears ever again. I would never come home and talk to her about my day, she would never get to start working at her dream job, she would never make fun of me when I got mad at my game and threw the controller. Every little thing I loved about her would be gone. She would be gone. Forever.

I was staring at the wall, but really staring at nothing, when she approached. The fresh tears were pouring freely from my eyes and I did not notice she was there until she spoke.

“Mr. Grant?”

I looked up and recognized the light blue surgical scrubs. I sat up straight, wiping at my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt.

“Please tell me she is okay,” the words escaped as I tried to hold back another sob.

The nurse, Deb, sat down in the chair next to mine. “She is out of surgery and in recovery. We had to hang two units of O- blood because of the hemorrhaging, but we managed to get it under control. We were able to salvage her uterus and she did not need a Hysterectomy, but we will need to observe her carefully for another hemorrhage. If that is the case, we may need to go back in and remove it.”

The words were slow to sink in. I stared at her for a minute, blinking and trying to hold back the tears.

“She… She will be okay?” I whispered, unsure if I said the words out loud if they would still be true.

Deb nodded. “She is being carefully monitored. Her blood pressure fell dangerously low during the surgery, and she is on a lot of pain medication right now.”

I took in a shaky breath. I was so scared to ask the next question. “What about… the baby?”

Deb’s face fell a little, but she quickly recovered. “Your son is currently in the NICU.”

“My son?” I look at her with wide eyes. “It’s a boy?”

“Oh, I did not realize you did not know the sex,” Deb smiled. “Yes, it’s a boy. When we delivered him, he was not responding. We manually ventilated him and he began to breathe on his own but his oxygen saturation was low and we needed to give him oxygen. We could not keep his numbers up, and we had no choice but to send him to NICU to be observed closely. But I just spoke with them, and he is doing great and will likely be able to come down to Post-Partum in a few hours.”

I had a son. I had a son and he was alive and healthy.

I felt all the stress and grief from the last few hours be replaced with relief. I sagged against the chair and covered my face as I started to cry again, but this time, they were tears of joy. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around Deb, something she seemed to be used to. She returned the embrace, patting my back a couple times before releasing me.

“Would you like to go meet your son?” She asked as I was leaning back and wiping my eyes.

“I should go see Loghan,” I sniffed, grabbing a tissue and wiping my eyes.

“She is sleeping at the moment,” Deb explained. “And I believe your son would really benefit by your presence right now.”

I nodded in agreement and pushed myself up from the chair. My muscles were stiff and I had to stretch before following her to the elevator.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Benson's POV**

Crib #4 was where he laid. They had him swaddled in a white blanket with blue stripes, and a white hat covered his head. Under the hat I could see the swirls of dark hair, the same color as Loghan’s.

He was sleeping, his cheeks rosy and his forehead wrinkled up as if he was deep in thought. His nostrils were flaring as he struggled to pull in air, but the nurse was there with oxygen, placing the mask over his tiny face to help out his little lungs.

For being 4 weeks early, he was doing amazing.

They told me he was 5lbs and 12oz and 18in long. They explained the breathing issues were common, but they were keeping a close eye on him just in case.

The nurse smiled at me. Her name tag identified her as Ally. She was young, maybe 25, and most likely a new graduate, but her eyes were kind and warm, and I felt comfortable in her presence.

“Are you the father?” She asked, her eyes drifting down to watch as the baby started to move. He let out a small cry and my heart beat harder. I could not believe he was mine.

“Yes,” I choked out. “Yes, I am.”

“Would you like to hold him?” Ally stroked his cheek and his crying stopped. “It would be really good for him if you could do skin-to-skin. It tends to help them regulate their breathing.”

“Really?” I asked, moving to get a better look at him. His nose resembled mine, but he had her chin and eye shape. I wondered if he would have her blue eyes.

“Yes,” Ally began unwrapping the blanket and he fussed in disapproval. “Go sit over in that chair and take off your shirt. I’ll place him on your chest and grab a warm blanket.”

I did as she said, removing my sweatshirt and t-shirt and settling down in the rocking chair they had set up. My arms trembled as she placed the tiny baby on my chest. My tiny baby. He was grunting, his little face scrunched up. As she promised, Ally draped a warm blanket over the top of us as I held him close against my skin. His breathing was rapid and she placed the oxygen over his face. I was nervous, so afraid that just by holding him that I was doing him harm. But after a few minutes, he calmed down, relaxing against me. Ally removed the oxygen, and we watched the monitor, but his numbers stayed stable. I looked down, and saw that he was staring at me. His eyes unfocused, eyebrows furrowed, mouth opened just a tiny bit.

This little tiny being was mine. It was overwhelming and terrifying and amazing and beautiful all at the same time.

I just wished Loghan was here to see him.

“Have you picked out a name?” Ally was still beside us, sitting next to the bassinet as she watched his numbers to be sure they were staying stable.

I stared at my son. I remembered the name that Loghan had loved so much, but I had been opposed to. Now, after all she had gone through to bring him here, I knew the right to name him had been hers all along.

“Grayson Thomas Grant,” I told her, and upon speaking his name, Grayson let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes, falling asleep nestled against my chest.

“I love it,” Ally stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I am going to give you two sometime alone. His numbers are good, but I will check back in a little bit. Just push the call-light if you need anything.”

I nodded, gently shifting him in my arms. When she left, I pulled the hat back from his head, admiring his wispy, dark hair. His eyelashes brushed his cheeks as he slept, and his bottom lip jutted out just a little into a pout. His eyebrows were scrunched together, giving him the cutest expression as he slept, but they lifted up occasionally into a look of surprise as he dreamed about whatever babies tend to dream about.

I rocked him for over an hour, watching as his skin grew pinker and warmer just by being close to me. Ally had not been lying when she said skin-to-skin would do wonders. He woke up hungry, and they gave me a bottle which he took greedily. His eyes were half-lidded as he sucked, staring at me as I gazed at him with a goofy grin on my face.

“Your mama is going to love you,” I said softly, slowly rocking the chair back and forth as he took the bottle. “She has been waiting to meet you for a long time.”

 

We were just settling Grayson back in the bassinet when Deb came back. One look at her face, and it felt like my heart had dropped into my stomach.

“Mr. Grant, will you come with me?” She asked, her words strained.

I looked back at Ally, who had something clouding her eyes.

“I’ll take care of Grayson, you go with her,” she said, smiling but I could tell it was forced.

With a nod, I turned back to Deb and followed her off the floor and into the elevator.

“What happened,” I asked as soon at the elevator doors closed. “Is Loghan okay?”

Deb stayed silent, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “Let’s just… let’s get downstairs. I should not be discussing this in the elevator.”

I understood, but the wait was killing me. I needed to know… oh God, I needed to know if Loghan was still okay. If she was still breathing.

“Just tell me if she is breathing,” I begged. “Just tell me that, please.”

Deb sighed. “She is alive, Mr. Grant, and she has the best doctors working on her right now.”

The elevator finally opened up on our floor, and Deb led me into a hospital room. There was no bed, only the couch and a table. The floors were wet, like they had just been freshly mopped.

“Take a seat, please, Mr. Grant,”

Deb watched as I sat down on the couch, looking around in confusion.

“This is Loghan’s room, but she is in surgery at the moment.” She explained.

“Surgery?” My brows furrowed. “Again? Why?”

Deb was chewing on her lip as she gathered her thoughts, and my heart was racing in my chest faster with each passing second.

“I told you before we were watching her carefully for another hemorrhage, and unfortunately, about an hour after I had last spoken with you, she started bleeding again. We gave her some medication to try and stop it, but her temperature spiked, which was indicative of an infection. We tried to get the bleeding under control for about an hour, because surgery was our last option. But unfortunately, she continued to hemorrhage and her blood pressure started to drop and we had no other option. I’m sorry, Mr. Grant, but I do not think there is any other option but to perform a Hysterectomy.”

It took a few minutes before her words finally clicked. I could only imagine what had happened in here just a little while before… the floors were cleaned because they had been covered in blood. Loghan’s blood. Her bed was gone because they had quickly pushed it into the OR to open her up again and try to stop the bleeding. She had been bleeding out, and I had had no idea. I had been blissfully unaware of the fact that she was dying.

I took a shuddering breath, covering my mouth as the sobs began. I would have thought I had no more tears to shed, but they still ran down my cheeks as I watched Deb come to sit beside me.

“She is strong, Mr. Grant. She has the best staff on her side right now.” Deb placed a hand on my shoulder, and I used it to ground myself.

“I can’t raise him by myself,” I sobbed. “Please. You have to save her. I can’t do this by myself.”

“We are doing everything we can,” Deb said, squeezing my shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4

**Benson's POV**

Well over an hour had passed before Loghan was wheeled back into the room. It was the first time I had seen her in over eight hours; her skin was pale, her cheeks sunken and no longer holding the pink color they usually did. Her eyes were closed and a nasal cannula was tucked in her nose, supplying her with supplemental oxygen. The IV pole had a bag of blood hanging from it as well as a bag of fluids. I did not even want to know how much of her blood was still on the floor in that operating room.

The nurses locked her bed and hooked her up to the vitals machine that would continuously monitor her blood pressure. She remained stone still, only her chest rising and falling with each breath. I held onto her hand, believing that if I could touch her, she would not be able to drift away.

“Mr. Grant?”

I looked up to see another nurse standing on the other side of the bed.

“Yes?” I croaked, my voice raw from crying.

“My name is Sara, I was Loghan’s nurse in the OR,” she explained.

I just stared at her.

Sara cleared her throat awkwardly but continued. “We are sorry, but we had to remove her uterus. The bleeding was out of our control, and she had developed a uterine infection from earlier. In order to save her life, we had to perform a Hysterectomy, but we were able to save her ovaries.”

I nodded curtly, not taking my eyes off her Loghan’s face. It was so still, and pale, but so perfect.

“Mr. Grant, do you have any questions?” Sara asked.

I was quiet for a minute and she almost left, but I stopped her.

“When will she wake up?”

Sara gave me a soft smile. “Hopefully soon, but it might be a couple hours. We will be keeping a close eye on her, we promise.”

She left then, leaving me alone with her.

I knew she was sleeping, but I just had to talk to her. I had to tell her what an amazing little boy she had waiting for her. Maybe, just maybe, she would wake up to hear all about him.

“Hey, love,” I whispered, stroking her hand with my thumb. “I have some wonderful news to tell you.”

I watched, hoping her eyes would flicker open, but they didn’t.

“I was wrong. It’s not a girl. It’s a boy, and he is so perfect and he looks so much like you, Loghan. He is perfect. Absolutely perfect.”

I kissed her hand, bringing it close to my lips before resting my forehead on our intertwined fingers. “You are going to love him so much. And I know he already loves you, and he cannot wait to meet you.”

I stopped talking, a lump forming in my throat.

“Please wake up, my love,” I choked out, a tear sliding down my cheek. I wiped it away, trying to blink the rest away, but it was too late. They trickled down my face, falling onto the sheets.

My eyes were closed, silent sobs shaking my shoulders when I felt her touch. It was so small, just her thumb wiping the wetness from my cheek, but my head jerked up.

Her eyes were half-lidded, but they were focused on me. She gave me the smallest smile, and it felt like someone had jolted me with electricity.

I jumped up and covered her face with kisses, pressing my lips against her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, her lips.

“Loghan!” I sobbed, caressing her face in my hands and pressing my forehead against hers. “Oh, my love… my love. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

I felt her breath as she let out a shaky sigh, her hands slowly lifting up to grasp my wrists.

“Please… tell me…” her voice was weak, but hearing it was like music to me ears. “Tell me more… about him.”

I let out a breathy laugh. “Oh my God, love. He is amazing.”

“He is… he is okay?” She asked, her eyes reflecting the fear I had been feeling just hours before.

“He is perfect,” I told her. “Absolutely perfect in every way.”

She smiled, pressing back against the pillows. “I knew… I knew it was a boy.”

“How?”

She shrugged. “I just had a feeling.”

“I thought of a name,” I told her, and watched in amusement as her body stiffened.

“Oh my God,” she sighed. “What is it?”

“Grayson.”

She stared at me, in shock I suspected.

“But you… you hate it.”

I shook my head. “No. I love it. I love it because you love it.”

Her body relaxed. “Really?”

“Love,” I said, running my hand down her cheek. “His name was always yours to choose. I know that now.”

“I love you,” she sighed, grabbing my hand and holding it against her cheek.

If only I could explain how much I loved her, how little the phrase “I love you too” covered my feelings for her as that very moment.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Loghan’s POV**

I was not prepared for the pain that followed. I had expected pain from childbirth, but I had never expected to go through not one, just _two_ surgeries. I could only remember being wheeled into the c-section, and everything after that was a blur.

But when the doctor came in to explain what happened, there was only one question was on my lips.

“When can I see my son?”

“Ms. Farren, you just went through major surgery. You should rest,” he stated, but the look I gave him shut him right up.

“I don’t give a fuck if I fell off a cliff and broke every bone in my god damn body. I want to meet my son,” I tried to keep my voice steady, but it had been hours and I had not seen him. They had already wheeled me from recovery into Post-Partum. My son was almost 24 hours old, and I had not gotten the chance to hold him.

He shifted uncomfortably, letting out a frustrated sigh. “Okay. I will have them release him from the NICU, but you must take it easy. You have a lot of healing to do the next few weeks.”

I nodded. He examined my incisions before leaving the room, and while they were incredibly swollen and painful, there was no signs of infection. All of that had been removed with my uterus.

Which meant that Grayson was the only baby I was going to get. He was it. He would be my only baby and I _needed_ to have him in my arms right that second. I needed to hold him and feel his heartbeat and know he was okay. Benson had told me he was doing great, but I needed to see him with my own eyes.

Benson sat next to the bed, holding my hand tight. He had been amazing. Whatever I needed, he was right there. He rubbed my back when the pain started to bother me, fetched ice chips when my mouth became dry. He was there to help me reposition, because I barely had the strength to push myself up on the bed. I do not know how I would have done this without him.

I looked over at him, feeling all the emotions start to spill over again. He had been through hell that past 16 hours. I felt guilty, but I also felt grief, for him and myself. He had always wanted a big family, with lots of kids. Now, that dream was unreachable. I could not give him what he dreamed of.

Benson must have noticed how my expression changed, because he squeezed my hands and brushed his fingers against my cheeks.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” He asked, and one look at his green eyes, and my heart broke.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, a couple silent tears trailed down my face.

“Oh, honey…” Benson shook his head, cupping my cheek in his hand. “What are you sorry for?”

“I can’t… I can’t have any more babies, Benson. This is it. I can’t give you any more.”

Benson’s lips turned up into a small smile, and I stared at him in confusion.

“It’s not funny!” I wanted to yell, but my voice was still weak.

“Loghan,” Benson leaned over and kissed my lips gently. He remained close after he broke away, his nose brushing mine. “I do not care about that. I have you and I have Grayson and that is more than I could ever want or need.”

He wiped the tears away with gentle fingers, and I felt a huge weight lift from my chest. The grief was still there, brought on by the thought that Grayson would never have any siblings to grow up with and that I could no longer do what women my age were meant to do. I would never be pregnant again. It was a hard pill to swallow, but with Benson by my side, we would get through it.

 

The minutes ticked by slowly, but finally, he was being wheeled into the room. The nurse pushed the bassinet into the room, walking slowly as to not jostle it. I could see the swaddled form laying there, and my heart started to beat faster.

“Loghan Farren?” The nurse asked, and I nodded.

Benson was up in a second, walking over to the bassinet and gazing down at the baby. _Our_ baby. I watched the way his eyes lit up, and he reached down and gently lifted him into his arms.

The nurse left us to give report to our nurse, and Benson slowly returned to the bed.

“It’s time to meet your mommy, Grayson,” Benson cooed, and I felt like I was going to turn to mush watching Benson with our son. I did not realize I could love him anymore than I already did, but I was falling even more in love with him every second I saw him with the baby.

I positioned the pillows so I could rest my arms on them, then lifted my hands. I was so ready to hold him. I had never been so eager for anything in my life.

Benson placed him in my arms, and I felt my world come together.

I do not know how long I stayed there, just staring at him. I tried to take in every single detail, in awe by how _perfect_ he was. He had Benson’s nose, Benson’s pouty lips, Benson’s long eyelashes. But he had my chin and my hair, and his little cheeks had dimples just like mine.

I just stared, watching his lips move as he dreamed, his eyebrows come together then apart as if he was deep in thought. I stroked his cheek and he turned his head towards it, tiny tongue sticking out as if he was looking for a bottle. A smile was plastered on my face, and even if I tried, it would not go away. I was so in love.

“You should do skin-to-skin,” Benson spoke up, his voice bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Hmm?” I asked, running a finger down Grayson’s face, relishing his baby soft skin.

“I did it in the NICU,” Benson explained. “It promotes bonding.”

I knew what he was talking about; we had learned about it in our birthing classes. I was just so engrossed in our baby’s beauty that I wasn’t thinking straight. But now, I wanted nothing more but the sweet babe on my chest.

I unwrapped the blanket from around him, and once the air hit his skin, his little eyes squeezed tight and he started to fuss.

“Shh… shh… It’s okay, Grayson,” I soothed, pulling the blanket away and removing the hospital gown from my chest. I pulled him against my skin, feeling his little fingers curl against my chest. Benson covered him back up with the blanket, and the fussing stopped. His little head rested against my chest, but his eyes remained open as he listened to my heart beat against my ribs. I placed my finger in his palm, and he squeezed tight. The tiniest sigh escaped his lips, and I looked down to see his eyes were closing once more, and soon he was back to sleep.

This felt right. It felt thing everything was how it was supposed to be, and everyone was where they needed to be. Grayson was on my chest; Benson was at our side. This was perfect.

I would not have changed it for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are encouraged and appreciated! ♥


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